The ‘Mom Code’

Is there a ‘Mom Code’ out there somewhere? If so, then can I please get the rule book? I somehow seem to have violated it and it’s adversely affecting my son.

My son is turning 5, and two weeks ago I sent out invitations to seven boys to a pirate themed party at our house. The party is this Saturday, I have gotten two responses. Only one of them is coming. The neighbor boy was more of a courtesy invite and I didn’t really expect him to come to the party, after all they play together on the weekends, but they don’t go to the same school or have the same friends. He will probably show up later in the day though.

I’m starting to think I’ve violated a code or rule somewhere. Unfortunately I just don’t fit in the mommy clique. I go to the school events, I help on field trips etc., but I have nothing in common with the women that do these things. I wear T-shirts emblazoned with rock logos or cars, I wear jeans and runners, my nails are broken and plain. I find talk about manicures boring, I don’t care about the latest sale at Target.  I don’t buy my son the latest technology (He’s only 5, why does he need something better than me?.)

In fact when there are groups of parents together I tend to have conversations with their husbands. I have more in common with them.

I talk cars I am restoring a 1940 Oldsmobile. I talk tech, I write about it so I really should know a little about it. I speak geek, I know the comic book world, I know whats happening with Lord of the Rings, I’m a true believer that Lucas ruined the  franchise with episodes 1-3. I can even quote the Star Trek movies (odd movies suck).

I can’t even imagine the looks I would get from some of the mothers is they knew that I let my son play D&D with us last night. It was a fledgling game and he had a level 1 barbarian, I figure that’s about the right mentality for a 5-year-old.  He was doing math (Counting his dice and subtracting his damage points), learning consequences (Run blindly into a room and you set off a trap), and he was politely waiting his turn. In between turns he was drawing castles with turrets, parapets with crenelations and draw bridges. How many five-year-olds know what crenelations are let alone draw them?

Judging by the lack of response to my sons birthday party I’m guessing that I violated some sort of unknown code and offended the mommy clique. Either that, or they are just rude and plan to show up without responding to the clearly written RSVP.

It would serve them right if no one was home when they came. Maybe take the one RSVP child and mine up to someplace fun. But that then brings up another point that I am confused on….Why do I have to play host to the parents at a child’s party? Apparently they (And I do mean both parents) plan to stick around the entire party…so now I have to entertain them while I keep the children in check? Does that mean I need to make appetizers for them too?  I have a family party planned for later that afternoon for which I was already making food, but that little get together is basically my husbands birthday party.

Maybe I am just out of touch with today???

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “The ‘Mom Code’

  1. Jen

    So you’ll never be the president of the PTA. Did you really want to be? lol You’re an amazing mom, which is evident in the creative boy you’re raising. Don’t worry about your son’s social abilities. He’ll be making more friends, which will show up both announced & unanounced, than you can feed soon enough. As for the parents who refuse to cut the umbilical cord & leave their child at the CHILDREN’S party alone, it’s not you, it’s them. Their child will grow up being uber-dependent upon them, while yours will have the confidence to try new things without seeking approval of others. If you did miss the “mom” code, be happy you did. The world needs more individual, self-sufficient, creative thinkers to battle the hoards of zombies those manicured moms are churning out. Kudos to you!

    • I am not worried about his social abilities in the least. He walks into a room of kids and he always seems to have a handful that gravitate towards him. It’s just that I wonder if he is going to miss out on something because the moms are avoiding me.

      Though I do wonder what the reaction of the umbilical parents will be at the birthday party when they walk into a house with functional swords on the walls, 120lb dog on the loose, replica pistols hung as artwork etc..

      Thanks for the vote of confidence

  2. I’m not a mommy, but I am a parent of a 15 year old boy. I’ll put this simply: the world needs more Moms like you. You are one who thinks out of the box, challenges and gives your child tools that will help him be creative and unique later in life. Your son is one who is more likely to create the next Twitter, Facebook or Apple because YOU taught him to think differently and not mainstream his experiences.

    The heck with the other parents. If they don’t have the courtesy of replying, you don’t need them and your son doesn’t either. Unfortunately, this is more typical of today’s society than not. Manners are shot to hell.

    Would you consider adopting me???? You rock!

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