Tag Archives: motherhood

The ‘Mom Code’

Is there a ‘Mom Code’ out there somewhere? If so, then can I please get the rule book? I somehow seem to have violated it and it’s adversely affecting my son.

My son is turning 5, and two weeks ago I sent out invitations to seven boys to a pirate themed party at our house. The party is this Saturday, I have gotten two responses. Only one of them is coming. The neighbor boy was more of a courtesy invite and I didn’t really expect him to come to the party, after all they play together on the weekends, but they don’t go to the same school or have the same friends. He will probably show up later in the day though.

I’m starting to think I’ve violated a code or rule somewhere. Unfortunately I just don’t fit in the mommy clique. I go to the school events, I help on field trips etc., but I have nothing in common with the women that do these things. I wear T-shirts emblazoned with rock logos or cars, I wear jeans and runners, my nails are broken and plain. I find talk about manicures boring, I don’t care about the latest sale at Target.  I don’t buy my son the latest technology (He’s only 5, why does he need something better than me?.)

In fact when there are groups of parents together I tend to have conversations with their husbands. I have more in common with them.

I talk cars I am restoring a 1940 Oldsmobile. I talk tech, I write about it so I really should know a little about it. I speak geek, I know the comic book world, I know whats happening with Lord of the Rings, I’m a true believer that Lucas ruined the  franchise with episodes 1-3. I can even quote the Star Trek movies (odd movies suck).

I can’t even imagine the looks I would get from some of the mothers is they knew that I let my son play D&D with us last night. It was a fledgling game and he had a level 1 barbarian, I figure that’s about the right mentality for a 5-year-old.  He was doing math (Counting his dice and subtracting his damage points), learning consequences (Run blindly into a room and you set off a trap), and he was politely waiting his turn. In between turns he was drawing castles with turrets, parapets with crenelations and draw bridges. How many five-year-olds know what crenelations are let alone draw them?

Judging by the lack of response to my sons birthday party I’m guessing that I violated some sort of unknown code and offended the mommy clique. Either that, or they are just rude and plan to show up without responding to the clearly written RSVP.

It would serve them right if no one was home when they came. Maybe take the one RSVP child and mine up to someplace fun. But that then brings up another point that I am confused on….Why do I have to play host to the parents at a child’s party? Apparently they (And I do mean both parents) plan to stick around the entire party…so now I have to entertain them while I keep the children in check? Does that mean I need to make appetizers for them too?  I have a family party planned for later that afternoon for which I was already making food, but that little get together is basically my husbands birthday party.

Maybe I am just out of touch with today???

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